Strategy

Making the First Move: A Practical Guide to Meeting Women Online

Written by: Jen Fact checked by: LF Team

Quick Summary

To successfully transition from a match to a real date, you need a straightforward approach. By being specific in your profile, moving past generic greetings, and suggesting low-pressure meetups, you can stop waiting for the other person to take the lead and start making real, high-quality connections.

The hardest part of online dating isn't signing up - it’s actually getting a conversation off the ground and meeting up in person. Sometimes we can be a bit too reserved, waiting for the other person to take the lead.

If you’re tired of messages that go nowhere, here is a straightforward approach to finding a real connection on Lesbian Flings.

1. Be Specific in Your Profile

General statements like "I like going out or staying in" don't give anyone a reason to message you. To get better quality matches, you need to give people a "hook."

The Advice: Instead of saying you like music, mention the last gig you went to at the local pub. Instead of saying you like to travel, mention your favourite spot somewhere near you. It gives the other person an easy opening line.

2. Move Past "Hi, How Are You?"

We’ve all received (and sent) that message, and it rarely leads to a great date. It’s the polite way to start, but it’s a bit of a dead end.

The Advice: Ask a question based on their profile. If they have a photo of a dog, ask what the dog’s name is. If they mention they love cooking, ask what their signature dish is. It shows you’ve actually looked at their profile.

Taking the initiative takes the pressure off both of you.

3. Suggestions Over Generalities

One of the main reasons conversations fizzle out is because nobody wants to make a decision.

The Advice: If the chat is going well, suggest a meeting. Rather than saying "We should meet up," try: "I’m going to be near [Area] on Saturday, do you fancy grabbing a coffee?" It’s direct, it’s low pressure, and it shows you’re serious.

4. Quality Over Quantity

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by hundreds of profiles. However, your data shows that focusing on quality always wins.

The Advice: Spend time on five quality conversations rather than sending fifty generic "Hi" messages. You’re more likely to find someone who actually shares your values if you put in a bit of effort from the start.

5. Keeping it Safe and Local

The best dates are the ones where you feel comfortable.

The Advice: Always meet in a public place for the first time - a busy cafe or a well-known pub is perfect. It keeps things relaxed and safe, allowing you to focus on whether there’s actually a spark there.


Frequently Asked Questions

What is the best way to open a conversation on a dating app?

Avoid generic greetings like 'Hi, how are you?'. The best way to open a conversation is to find a hook in their profile such as a hobby, a pet, or a favourite gig and ask a specific question about it.

How do I suggest meeting up for a date?

Be direct and specific. Instead of saying 'we should meet up sometime,' try suggesting a low-pressure public location on a specific day, such as grabbing a coffee when you are in their area.

Ready to start a conversation?

There are thousands of women looking for exactly what you are. Have a look at who’s nearby and send that first message today.

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